Biopsies and Book Art

I will spare you the ugly bloody band aid picture, but today I went and had what I hope is to be my last stomach biopsy.

I have been responding well to the chemo, my blood numbers are normal, if anemic, my kidney is hanging in there, and if things are close to where my doctor guesses, I may be in an acceptable remission!  Woot!

Pray for me guys, pray for me.

Since the hubby couldn’t take more time off work, and we have no family in a 12 hour driving distance, and also no sitter, I ended up calling a neighbor to keep a look out for the house being on fire and left the oldest child to watch the boys while I went to have my needle biopsy. Scary, yes.  However, she helps me with them all the time, and watches other people’s kids to boot.

I left her with a phone, and took off.  The drive was 4 minutes.  The oncologists office was prepped and ready for me, as soon as I walked in the door, I was led straight back, helped to strip, and slathered in ultrasound gel.  This all took less than 5 minutes.  Within another 10, the doctor walks in, and as we discussed, performs a no anesthetic needle biopsy of my stomach and omentum.  Ow, ow, ow.  Everything is out, I am dressed and pukeing in a trash can in another 10, and after a quick bandage up and a promise that I will call when I get home, I am back out the door and another 5 minute drive home.

So 40 minutes round trip for what ends up being an all day event for most people.  That, my friends, is how we get *bleep* DONE. 😀


On a whole other front, I am obsessed the last week or two with trying to sketch a fairly pivotal piece of jewelry from TOME (my current WIP).

I even tried to hire someone from craigslist to sketch it out for me, but everyone was either skeezy or wanted like $150.  Ummm, no.  I just want to see what it looks like from someone who can draw more than a frog-rabbit ( which is what all my animals look like).  And then I want to find someone on Etsy who does wire jewelry to make me a piece that looks like the sketch.

I started looking at other people’s book art to see what kind of work they had, and now have almost 30 windows open of various pieces I like in a vainglorious attempt at pretending that I will one day be in the position to demand book art to my standards.  *sigh*


Once I get done pukeing and rolling around in pain, I’m going to get back to work polishing and fixing my ms.  Then I will daydream some more.  Also probably eat a cookie, because I deserve it.


CANCER SUCKS, and You Can Too!

This has just been the week for weird occurences.   My husbands migraine spike, my kids doing all kinds of weird things…  I swear there is a full moon or something.

And my crazy bald head itches!  If I haven’t said it before to you guys, cancer seriously sucks.

I miss having energy, I miss hair, I miss my waistline.  I miss things not making me puke, and I miss the clear mind that I used to procrastinate writing with.

All of this editing and brain strain just makes me nostalgic for when all of my body bits worked in unison.   I have found that the more I fight against the tide of chemicals, that the more irritable I get to my family.   It starts with holing up in the office, then slamming my laptop shut and sighing heavily when they come in, and ends with my dumping dinner in the garbage because no one was sitting and waiting when I got done trying to cook. Lol  (yes, that has happened)

So, I suck…. but in my defense, so does cancer.  Does that give me a pass this time?

I estimate that in another couple of weeks I will have this thing polished up and shiny.  I have started to research query letters and what agents look for in my non-writing time ( read: time the kids are sitting on top of my head watching cartoons and I can’t write) so I can be ready whenever I get to that point.

I have a good feeling about all this, despite my suckiness.  Something good is going to happen.  I just have to hang on long enough ( and stop throwing dinner in the trash) to let it happen.

Roughly Inspired

I’m horrible at simple maths, so forgive me if this is a blatant lie from the start.  It’s possible I am totally wrong.

That being said, I did the math looking at word counts and average productivity rates (yes, I keep those) and it looks to me like I may have a finished expanded rough outline thingy by the end of this month, and an actual finished ROUGH (emphasize ROUGH) draft by the end of next.

I know so many writers and bloggers and advice twitterpates all say how you must write, and you must write MORE, Rawr!  Or you’re not a writer!  OR the world may come to an end and you are not serious and you will never get published and we will stomp on kittens with our big meanie boots and it will be all your fault for not writing MORE!

You couldn’t see it, but I just stuck my tongue out at those people.

See, I have been fighting cancer for 5 months now, and I am tired.  Also, bald.

My husband, God bless him, is tired also, and the kids are small balls of attention deficit.  Everyone wants more Mommy, and Mommy barely has the energy to complete sentences when she talks, much less infuse a whole made up world with wit and awesome.  So yeah, I write less.  And sometimes I get panicky, its a symptom, and I write nothing for days because I can’t deal with anything other than breathing in and out.

Personally I think breathing in and out is pretty cool at this point.  Actually, it IS the point.

Add to that I had an accident at Office Depot (see my blog from 2 weeks ago) and now have to have surgery on my ankle.  There is just not enough of me to go around.

SO if I want to get super excited thinking that in 2ish months I could have a whole rough draft to sit and ponder in all its probable horribleness, then that’s what I’m gonna do.  That, and eat cupcakes.

I have been watching authors that I remember reading their first novels the day they came out ( because I have read everything, I seem to wait on midweek every week for a new book).  So many of them are now NYT bestsellers, like Kiersten White.  I actually got an arc of Paranormalcy from a book blogging friend and I have watched it grow.  I don’t know her at all, but I feel like I kind of got to ride the wave of her excitement on into my own writing.  Sometimes I get too fragile to even get words on paper for weeks at a time, but watching others success only makes me excited to work harder, and I have been doing that alot lately.

Hopefully when it becomes my time to shine, it will light a path for the next person, too.

And it goes On and On and On..

SO the oldest child has been singing this stupid song for about a week.. something about “Like its DYNOMITE!” and then I was in the unfortunate position to be stuck with my bum leg on the couch when the remote was too far away to reach while the Disney channel was on.  It seems that the latest incarnation of miniature overly sexed loud mouthed tween that the big D is pimping out sings this song for a commercial.  However, as horribly grating on the ears as that song is it got me thinking.

My current WIP is middle grade, and something I often struggle with while writing it is making sure that the actions and solutions of my MC’s are something that an actual tween would not only do themselves, but want to read about.  Not necessarily the “what would you do if you were confronted by an evil king bent on hoarding the power of creation to himself” action/solution, but .. well, you know what I mean.

I am still ruminating on this, and it keeps going round in my head.  Or On, and ON, and OONNNNN ( like the horrible song says, make it stop please??)

I think I need to go observe some middle graders in their native element.  TO THE MALL!!!